MISSED CONNECTIONS: I PASSED YOU ON THE WAY HOME TONIGHT, AND YOU TOOK MY BREATH AWAY

Me: Ms. Mon
You: Pittsburgh

EVERYBODY IS READING MS. ADVENTURES ON THE MON!

"CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS STUFF? IT'S ABSOLUTELY ATROCIOUS!"

FOR THE LOVE OF FULL MOONS, BOURBON AND BUTTON BOXES

WE ARE PRESENTLY IN HONORIFICABILITUDINITATIBUS

And thus will be unable to reply to any e-mails today. We hope you understand.

Hi ludi, F. Baconis, tuiti orbi,
Ms. Mon

HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS?

I DON'T LIKE MON-DAYS

EXCLUSIVE: SEE THE FRONT PAGE THE PITTSBURGH POST-GAZETTE SAID WAS TOO RISQUE TO EVEN LINK TO!

WE UNDERSTAND -- THEY HAVE THEIR STANDARDS, PEOPLE.*

BUT LUCKY FOR YOU, WE DON'T.

LOOK NO FURTHER THAN BELOW FOR THE HIGHLY PROVOCATIVE PHOTOS COLLECTED FROM HIGHLY DUBIOUS SOURCES!

(AND FOR EVEN MORE IRREVERENT COVERAGE OF THE MAYORAL ELECTION, DON'T FORGET TO STOP BY THE CARBOLIC SMOKE BALL.)

*To be accurate, the über-groovy, in-touch-with-the-times Bill Toland (who we really, really like along with many other fine writers, photographers and artists -- OK, maybe even one editor, and you know who you are -- at the Post-Gazette) did indeed link to it in the Early Returns blog ... and it took only about five minutes for someone to complain before he had to remove it. Apparently, it was the naked Luke photo (even though you can't see anything good -- not that we can verify it's good -- but we here at Ms. Adventures on the Mon like to give people the benefit of the doubt).

Nothing sets people off like nudity in this town, does it? If the terrorists ever wanted to take over Pittsburgh, I'm pretty convinced all they'd have to do is bombard us with nude artwork. Or convene an outdoor La Leche League meeting Downtown. (Please, if you belong to La Leche League, don't write us any letters. We're all for public breastfeeding, and frankly, the more people you can intimidate with your boobs, the better in our book. Why women don't harnass this power more is beyond us.)

Naturally, we were upset when our front cover was deemed "a little tasteless" -- because that meant it failed to meet our exacting standards of being VERY tasteless, you know, kind of like Luke Ravenstahl himself.

Oh, but anyway, now that this is all over with, we've got other things to worry about.

Like saving The Garden Theatre.

FRONT PAGE NEWS: PITTSBURGH MAYORAL ELECTION 2007

(Images courtesy of Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Eric -- John McIntire's Starbucks Guy -- Maria of 2pjs and Ms. Mon. )

DATELINE PITTSBURGH: THE FATE OF OUR FAIR CITY IS IN YOUR HANDS, VOTERS! PLEASE ENJOY OUR SPECIAL ELECTION DAY COVERAGE

Because we at Ms. Adventures on the Mon are open-minded individuals (OK, mostly because we are nosy), we also like to check out what everybody else is saying, be they bloggers, MSM reporters or that stinky guy* who interrupts your work to ask STUPID questions all the time.

(Jesus, it's not like I'm stuffing envelopes here, I've told him a thousand times, I HAVE TO CONCENTRATE -- OR PEOPLE DIE!)

We encourage you to do the same.

REPUBLICAN ENTHUSIASM THROUGHOUT PITTSBURGH REACHES ALL-TIME HIGH

RAVENSTAHL SUPPORTERS OVERDO 'MOVE FORWARD' DRINKING GAME ON EVE OF VOTE; NOT EXPECTED TO 'COME TO' UNTIL POLLS CLOSE

THOUGH NOT RUNNING, BILL PEDUTO STILL MANAGES TO EXCITE VOTERS WITH 'BELIEVE' VIDEO MARATHON IN REGENT SQUARE

SOCIALIST RYAN SCOTT LITERALLY 'GOES FOR BROKE' AS HE ATTEMPTS TO SECURE HOMELESS VOTE

WITH CHANCES SLIM, LIBERTARIAN TONY OLIVA GOES AFTER CAPTIVE AUDIENCE AT NORTH SHORES NURSING HOME

INCOMING: OUR HALLOWEEN PHOTOS OF LOCAL POLITICIANS HAVE BEEN DEVELOPED!

HA! AND YOU DIDN'T EXPECT THEM UNTIL NEXT WEEK! ONE HOUR PHOTO SERVICE HAS MADE GREAT STRIDES SINCE 1984, DON'T CHA KNOW?

REPUBLICAN MAYOR HOPEFUL MARK DESANTIS HAD THEM ALL FOOLED!


MAYOR LUKE RAVENSTAHL WAS PREDICATABLY A LITTLE LESS AMBITIOUS WITH HIS COSTUME. EVERYONE KNEW HE WAS DOPEY!

LIBERTARIAN ACTIVIST MARK RAUTERKUS COULD HAVE EASILY GONE AS THE "CUTE LITTLE MERMAID," BUT INSTEAD, HE CHOSE A MORE AUSTERE INTERPRETATION OF THE MYTHICAL AQUATIC CREATURE.

AND COUNCILOR BILL PEDUTO TRICK-OR-TREATED AS THE URBAN COWBOY WHO HAD A LOT OF GOOD SONGS AND A LITTLE GROOVE, BUT NO CLOTHES.

SORRY WE ARE LATE IN POSTING TODAY -- MS. MON WAS BUSY SERVICING THE MAYTAG REPAIRMAN

HELLO? IF YOU'RE DRYER WAS BROKEN AND YOU HAD TWO TEENAGERS (ONE OF THEM A GIRL WHO CHANGES FIVE TIMES A DAY) AND A STICKY SECOND-GRADER, YOU'D DO THE SAME THING, SO DON'T GIMME ANY OF THAT!

JUST FOR PITTGIRL AND HER READERS

(If you want to know what all the fuss is about, see the dialogue about Joe Hardy's new squeeze @ http://theburghblog.com/)

PECHIN'S BURNING!

Yes, Pechin Shopping Village in Dunbar did burn down in July 2006, and since Ms. Mon has her very own camera phone of suck, she has evidence. (The second photo is a screen capture from coverage by WPXI. I don't have my own news chopper. Yet.)