MS. MON HAS A MAJOR, IMPORTANT, LIFE-ALTERING AND URGENT ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE!

She is pontificating retiring from blogging. Because she has really run out of things to say. She has nothing left to say, it seems. In fact, it is amazing that she continues to type, considering she is so done with blogging it's not even funny. She just can't think of anything. She's a blank. A zip. A zilch. A null. A nada. A zero. She's done. That's it. She is just going to stop blogging, she thinks, forever and ever and all eternity and ad infinitum. So she wants you all to know that SHE MAY NEVER BLOG AGAIN. SHE HAS NOTHING TO SAY. SHE IS DONE. Well, maybe. But no, seriously, she is going to quit blogging. And nothing is going to change her mind, and she's glad she could keep this so short. Because brevity makes impact, people. It gives one pause. Time to smell the roses. Relish life. Relish hot dogs.

I can't go on anymore. I'm done. In fact, I'm so sure I'm finished, I'm going to repeat that. I'm done. Done, done, done. OK. I'm just thinking about it at this point. But I am thinking about it VERY SERIOUSLY. GRAVELY. EARNESTLY. HONESTLY.

WITH MUCH SOLEMNITY. (And a thesaurus at my side.)

There is no way anybody's talking me out of this, so don't even try. Your pleas for me to continue blogging will be met with great resistance. I will not cave. Give in. Concede. Acquiesce. (That's what I can do without a thesaurus. I just spilled my coffee all over it.)

So, as I said, there's no use if you want to try to keep me from quitting. It's not really quitting, though. I am just moving on. Because I have absolutely nothing to say. And I'll say it again. To emphasize.

I'm finished.

Through.

Fried.

Toast.

Gone for good.

Forever.

OK. Not yet. But close.

And that's why I'm keeping this so short. Because when I say I'm done, I mean it, and I want you to experience the full drama of this quitting, with me. Now let's breathe together and repeat: Ms. Mon is going to stop blogging, and my life may never be the same.

Did I tell you I may never blog again?

I know this comes as a great shock to you, but I have been mulling over this for a while. Ruminating. Excogitating, in fact. No. Really. Have you ever met me? Total excogitater. Is there an excogitater in the house? Yo! That's me! Present! And guilty as charged, sir.

Hi. My name is Ms. Mon. And I'm an excogitater.

Who has nothing left to say.

And is going to be done blogging. Soon.

Maybe.

I know that you are deeply concerned, and I appreciate this. I know you are asking yourself questions like, "How can I go on?" and "Whatever will I do?"

And that's because you know that when I'm finished here (which is going to be really, soon, because I am making an official announcement, perhaps) that life will never be the same.

Things will be different.

Daily, you will wake up and ask yourself, "Why? Why? Why? Why did she stop? And why can't I stop thinking about her?"

And you will have these thoughts everyday until the day you die. And I just know it, which is why I want to announce that I may never blog again and your vain attempts to intercede will be met with much implacableness. Much. Did I say much?

Kingdoms will fall. Empires will collapse. The economy? Eh, not my field of expertise.

So anyway, I am quitting the business. Forever. Probably.

Did I tell you I am retiring from blogging, and I just don't have anything left to say on the matter?

I know. It's devastating.

That. I. Don't. Have. Anything. Left. To. Say.

I am through. Through, I tell you!

Finished.

This is my last blog post.

Of all time.

I mean it.

Yep.