MS. MON RELUCTANTLY AGREES TO 'HAIRCUT' APPOINTMENT, WILL SURRENDER AT THE HANDS OF LOCAL STYLIST

GENERAL PUBLIC REJOICES; FAMILY, FRIENDS AND COWORKERS ARRANGE FOR MOTORCADE ESCORT TO ENSURE HER TIMELY ARRIVAL

Coworker Lidia Ribaldry taking bets at office Ms. Mon bails: "I know that woman, and once she sees those pointy scissors pointing at her, she is going to scamper like a rat out of a sewer on a rainy day, whatever the hell that means."