Friday, February 05, 2010

UP-TO-THE-MINUTE COVERAGE OF BLIZZARDBURGH: UNCONFIRMED REPORTS OF THE FIRST CASUALTY HAVE BEEN DISCLOSED TO THIS NEWS SOURCE


ONLY ON MS. ADVENTURES ON THE MON! WE HAVE EARLY REPORTS THAT THE FIRST CASUALTY OF WHAT WILL SURELY COME TO BE KNOWN AS THE "GREAT BLIZZARD OF TWENTY-TEN" MAY HAVE BEEN A MEMBER OF THE MEDIA ... THEY HAVE NOT BEEN CONFIRMED ... AGAIN, THIS IS ONLY SPECULATION ... BUT IT APPEARS THAT BLOGGER MS. MON WAS ENSNARED IN A RUNAWAY ROLL OF CHARMIN AS SHE WAS EXITING THE BRENTWOOD GIANT EAGLE, AND SUBSEQUENTLY TRIPPED AND FELL INTO THE PATH OF AN ONCOMING TASTYKAKE TRUCK ... A WITNESS TOLD US THAT ALL THAT REMAINED INTACT WAS MS. MON'S SHOCK OF BLOND HAIR -- "IT WAS IRONIC," SAID THE SHOPPER, "SINCE I KNEW HER AND THAT WAS THE ONE THING ABOUT HER THAT WAS NEVER INTACT" ... SHE IS IN CRITICAL CONDITION ... WE THINK ... BUT WE REALLY DON'T KNOW, AS WE ARE JUST MAKING THIS UP AS WE GO ALONG ... BUT WE DO HAVE THIS PHOTO TO SHOW YOU FROM HER BED ... WHILE THIS IS YET AS UNCONFIRMED, IT HAS BEEN PASSED ALONG TO US THAT THE LAST WORD SHE WAS HEARD TO UTTER WAS, "FUELPERKS" ...